I’m going through a midlife something. I wouldn’t say crisis although by the end of this one might say I am lol. Lately, I find I’m feeling a sense of regret on some things I could have made better decisions on. 

The most important one the keeps resurfacing is I wished I moved away when I was younger. Right now I feel like I am going through a rebellious stage where I am trying to make up for lost time. Instead I stayed close to home, stayed in bad relationships and lived/interacted with chaotic people. I am now tired of being in this place. Wishing I went out there and explored what life had to offer.

Aside from purging stuff from my apartment, I am in need of purging people who live a co dependent cluttered lifestyle. My mind screams when I visit people who live this way. I feel like going in hermit mode to avoid these people, places and things.

I feel like I am aging as I help the aged people in my village. What is concerning is that their co dependency limits them. I was thinking today how lucky am I that I am not co dependent anymore. 

I don’t know if it is a combination of the transformation that took place with me recently and/or the fact that holiday season is upon us and I get antsy about all the togetherness that is upon us that makes me feel this way. But lately I am craving more time away from this village. I want to be able to get up and just go and see where this road takes me.